Top Thirty Mr. T Facts
Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
Mr. T once entered a Hot Dog eating contest. He ate a record 93 hot dogs, a 72 oz. steak, two pedestrians, a streetlamp, and a judge who called him "that guy from the A-Team".
When asked for his thoughts on vegetarians, Mr. T said: ..If god didn..t want us to eat animals he wouldn..t have made them out of meat..Fool...
One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it back.
The T virus in Resident Evil is based on what happens to a person when they are exposed overwhelming amounts of pity inflicted by Mr. T. There is currently no cure.
Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Mr. T can walk on water. He can also walk on fire. His preference however, is to walk on fools.
Mr. T has removed Pee Wee Herman from existence for making fun of his cereal.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T scared the black out of Michael Jackson.
As a child MR. T used to go into the sewers of NY and hunt alligators. I know what you are thinking: ..There are no alligators in the sewers of NY... Yeah...Now!
God was able to create the world in seven days only because he had the aid of Mr. T, a blow torch, and a musical montage.
Mr. T was almost involved in a second car crash. To avoid the crash, he folded his arms and slowly shook his head. The car decided it was safer to avoid Mr. T.
The only thing to survive a nuclear holocaust would be Mr. T and cockroaches - Mr. T does not like cockroaches... for that reason and that reason alone Russia and the USA agreed to reduce their nuclear arsenal.
Google won't search for Mr. T because it knows you don't find Mr. T, he finds you.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Contrary to popular belief, Mr. T was not beat by Sylvester Stallone in Rocky III. He actually lost to Stallone's stuntman, Chuck Norris. It took 5 hours of work by a dozen makeup artists to make Chuck Norris ugly enough to be a believable Stallone. Even with Chuck Norris, it was still necessary to use 3 metric tons of animal traquilizers to knock Mr. T out long enough for a 10 count.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
The briefcase in Pulp Fiction contained Mr. T's gold chains.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
If you have ever beaten Mr. T at a game, you obviously didn't know the rules.
When in the presence of Mr.T a magic-8-ball ALWAYS predicts PAIN!
Mr. T walked in front of a speeding bus. Needless to say, he was charged with 7 counts of manslaughter.
Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.
Mr.T has created a laxative. The box contains only a picture of Mr. T with his arms crossed but that image alone can make a person shit themselves.
Mr. T wears brass knuckles because he fears the consequences of hitting someone with his bare fists.
Mr. T and Chuck Norris decided to spar with each other for fun and went to the place they could do the least damage; the beginning of Time. Evidence of the battle can still be detected today. We call it the Big Bang
Mr. T is why Waldo is hiding
When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T..s anger broke every bone in Sly..s face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80..s.
23. That..s the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn..t have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn..t recognize him out of fear.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That..s why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
Mr. T..s edition of the VH1 show ..Where Are They Now.. was the shortest in the show..s history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words ..Right Behind You.. written on it.
Mr. T pities the fool who doesn..t pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.
Mr. T..s pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus...all caucasian people moved to the back.
Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
Mr. T does not have to kick the crap out of you, crap runs out of your ass in fright when you come into contact with Mr. T.
Mr. T is not black. It..s just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T.
Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.
Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.
The last time Mr. T went to McDonald..s, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.
Friday, February 6, 2009
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